|Turn and Face the Strange
||[Dec. 29th, 2010|01:37 pm]
|||||Abysmal ~ The Haunted||]|
I wish I would've just created a baby filter, rather than a whole new LJ account for it. Like I need any more reminder that life is forever changed than a half defunct beloved journal, paid journal, MY journal, that I used to like to visit and post to and comment on friends posts, and shit. That I have something like 117 unused / free icon space to fill up. and shit.
Coming into work yesterday I felt like I had just woken up from a coma. I don't even know what the fuck because I've been back to working from work, part time, since September. But for some reason it felt like it could've been a morning commute from, like-say, 2008... or some other time from a million years ago. I really do wish I could go back... just for a week... just for myself. One half of that week I would dedicate to doing jack shit. seriously... nothing. lying on my ass. breathing. eating. peeing. but basically.. nothing. Definitely NOT washing bottles, ok, or anything remotely related to it.
The other half of the week I would dedicate to all the things I haven't been able to do in 2 years;
Bars - in the middle of the day.... JUST BECAUSE.
Restaurants - nice ones - the kind that Would, in fact, mind a floor full of cheerios to clean up after you leave
Movies - I'd spend a whole day/night movie hopping. Maybe two days/nights. all 3D. Why Not.
Drives - GOD I miss going on drives. in my truck. that I no longer have because it couldn't fit two car seats. I miss my fucking truck. alot.
Concerts - even local shows in sticky bars... whatever. Loud. Throbbing. Angry. Horns waving worthy music, preferably by people who have no blessed idea how annoying Dora the Explorer is.
Beauty Salon - there was a time, not even that long ago, where I would not let my piggies be spied without shiny paint on them. period. since I pretty ,much live in flip flops, that means they were ALWAYS presentable. I will never have the patience or fortitude to do them myself. I don't even know if I just used the word fortitude correctly right there, ok, but Also, it would be lovely to have hair that is just one color, with some kind of style to it, other than floppy and straw like. I don't need a facial. Or a massage. Or an eyebrow wax (well, maybe that) Just a fricken hair cut and a pedi.
Shopping - Ok, I've never actually been into shopping for myself, but damn. Mama needs some new clothes. and underwear. and shoes. and make up. and hair products that cost more than $4 per bottle, hence the straw-hair.
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give up what I have, for anything.... but I would love to try and find a way to infuse a little more of ME back into my own life, before it gets permanently sucked up and spit back out into Candyland. Obviously I'm not trying to get back to some lonely, partying, irresponible, self destructive place, but some middle ground (i.e., life) would be nice.
If I have any kind of resolution for 2011, this would be at the top of the list. Right next to finding an affordable daycare, or at least a dependable babysitter.
In any case, happy holidays & new year to those who have yet to delete me. Thanks for not doing that, BTW. Hopefully there will be more Megs to put into this journal in the near future, but probably it will be some Megs, some Babies, a little boyfriend sprinkled in for flavor, and a pinch of work ( well, hopefully a little more than that... this is a recession still). and no worries because whatever is posted here will not be annoyingly first person, like this whole paragraph is. I don't even know where that came from, actually.