| Writer's Block: Seeing stars |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|10:51 pm] |
Luke, from Cool Hand Luke, and I don't want to take him out on a date. I've pretty much got the whole evening blocked off for down and dirty sexing, so stupid shit like eating and talking would just be a waste of time. Besides the sexing, I will wash his car with my boobies. What good is a "date" without foreplay, am I right? No hard boiled eggs were harmed during the making of this sweet nasty sexing.
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| It leads you here, despite your destination |
[Sep. 13th, 2009|08:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Da Beach | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Under the MIlkyway ~ The Church | ] |
Sitting at the Jack in the Box drive thru earlier, in my Soccer Mom vehicle, looking & feeling very much like a soccer mom (in training), something occured to me as I was cranking up Rage Against the Machine and getting weird looks as I was, naturally, rocking out to it.... Life has shifted into a whole different gear for me and, despite my best efforts to avoid it, my whole identity has gotten absorped by my children. 8 months ago I swore up down and sideways this wouldn't happen... I wouldn't be THAT MOM who loses herself to them, but it was apparently unavoidable. I can barely remember a time before maternity clothes, breast pumps, hospitals NICU's & the difference between preemie and newborn diapers, let alone a time when I had an actual personality. Dare I say a somewhat witty and interesting one at that *SHRUG??* In any case...
I don't really know what else to say. Sean is home from the hospital. He squeaks and farts alot. They are all sort of equally endearing. My complete lack of sleep is less because of a needy baby as a neurotic mom, checking every 5 seconds to make sure he is breathing. Sadie is still in the NICU, having some apnea & reflux issues that will keep her there for at least another week :( I'm told these are totally normal preemie issues, but seeing your child's face turn blue is taxing under the best circumstances.
Yeah, totally "normal" *shakes head*. no.
Anyway, with one babby home and one in the hospital... well, there's my life in a nutshell. Defriend me if you can't handle it. I can be found @![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) peanutties (I'll add anyone who wants to hear about teh babby stuff) or @ Facebook more than here.
I hope you are all well, Flist... I sincerely do,
~M
Sean & Daddy
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[Aug. 19th, 2009|10:23 am] |
truer spots have never been drawn. |
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| It's humid and I want a popsicle. |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|07:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
This is my new office for the rest of the year. I finally broke down and went and bought a couple of barstools, since my teeny apt doesn't have a dining room, or room for a desk even. Before today when I would work from home, I would sit on the big inflated ball at the coffee table. This is pretty much how I would eat as well. Lately, getting off and on the big green ball hasn't been working too well with my hips... hence the new office set up.
Yeah, well. That barstool sucks donkey anus. My hips are ok, but after 5 minutes my back and ass are Not *sigh* Also, dig the view, yo. I hate those EFFING cabinets so hard! They are the ugliest shittiest brownest laquered-est holder of dishes I have ever seen. I can't sit on the other side because the counter sits flush on that side.
Crap. Anyone know if they make office chairs that swivel up to 30"? I think even hard plastic would feel better. Maybe IKEA.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2009|05:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | da hood | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  impressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | blasting new shit by NWA | ] |
I cannot even believe what I just saw. Or, what I didn't see, I guess. I was driving on the 15 Freeway, right around the spot where the 163 North merges off of it, and a friggen Dishwasher fell out the back of a utility truck over on the 163, and skidded on it's back @ like 50 something miles an hour all over the damn freeway until it finally came to stop, conveniently on the right shoulder. It was about 4:30 so just enough traffic to be busy, but not enough to be slow yet. The swerving cars almost looked choreographed, I can't believe none of them hit each other or the damn dishwasher!! Which is good.... that would've caused a MOTHER of a back up, for A Lot of people.
nutty. |
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| Jesus Fucking Christ. |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|01:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
I first saw this posted in a facebook link last night, and then proceeded to have nightmares about it all night long. I didn’t want to believe it is true, but sadly it is :(
Hands down this is the most evil person I have ever heard of. ever. in the whole history of evil people who ever existed. Post Partum my ass, this chick aint right in the head.
Seriously, you guys, if I show signs of postpartum psychosis, in any degree, please just come and take my babies away until I get better. Call 911 on my ass. Seriously.
You don't want to read this. Trust me.
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| Sally Struthers vs Sarah Mclachlin ~ Celebrity Deathmatch Edition |
[Jul. 28th, 2009|12:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | wErk | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
Does it make me a horrible human being to be more affected by those animal abuse commercials than the starving children commercials? Is it that they manage to make the animals seem that much more pitiable, or that I’m finally disaffected by staged visuals of fly infested poochy stomachs and dirty cheeks stained with one lone streak of teardrop? Perhaps it is the sudden shift of upbeat music that is played while showing promises of a better tomorrow, happy smiling children, with clean scrubbed cheeks, sitting in a classroom, all because of your $0.68 cents a day. Or maybe it is the blatant deception of the happy smiling child with a vaccination needle sticking into his arm, because apparently 3rd world children appreciate the medical value of such things, rather than harp on the immediate suckiness of them. Seriously, how do they get the babies to smile for the camera when they are being stuck? I would like to know this trick the next time I have to get lab work and some poor 3 year old is about to start screaming bloody murder in the station next to me. IDK. Perhaps it’s simply that sad puppy dog eyes cannot be reproduced in children, regardless of their depressing circumstances, and will always be true sad puppy dog eyes on, you know, puppies. And kitties. Every time I see those commercials I want to go straight to the Humane Society and bring them all home with me. Even the goopy eyed kitty!
It’s probably just a nesting thing. I’m sure it will go away, and take this affinity to all things sugar filled with it, back from wherever it came from. Eventually. Right? |
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| Heh. |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|04:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  LOL | ] |
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| yeeeaaauh |
[Jul. 10th, 2009|10:27 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | da Beach | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Who's the Boss theme song. | ] |
stole this from vurumai , who probably stole it from someone else, who probably stole it from someone else, et cetera. Thus completing the circle of intarwebs, or at least propogating a straight line of intarwebs, full of seams. and broken dreams.
Skinny Seth Rogen is Skinny. Do Not Want. Why do guys think being skinny is good? Sumo wrestler big is not so good, but there is nothing wrong with that extra 20 to 30lbs of cushion. FOR THE PUSHIN. (girls too) I used to have a huge crush on Seth. Now, not so much. I liked the chubby jew fro look.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2009|02:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
you know it just occured to me... this has been a mother fucking crazy year.
and we're only 1/2 way through it. |
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| my hands are possessed. |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|12:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | wErk | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | embarrassed | ] |
Somebody just walked down the hallway, past my cubicle, in that slow kind of shuffle that say's "Im in no hurry". No Biggy. This happens about 112 times a day. I didn't notice until a few seconds after they were past my cubicle that my right hand was placed inside the top of my shirt, half of it was just chilling in my cleavage while the other half was CUPPING my currently massive left boob.
*nods*
I have no idea how my hand came to be resting in this position, I do not recall placing it there... but if you will, please picture Al Bundy on stretched out on his couch with his hand down his pants and this would be the general gist of how I must've looked to the general passer by, except replace Johnson with Boobie.
*DIES*
I'm facing the opposite direction of the cubicle opening, so, I have no idea who it was. I guess it beats picking my nose ?
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| and you... put the kettle on! |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|08:02 pm] |
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They're actually showing The Meaning of Life on Encore. nHice. I caught it in time to DVR it. GD DVR better work this time. My Hunter Thomspon special turned out to be some fucking Hallmark Special. As if I've ever had the Hallmark channel on?!!? No. |
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| OMFG it's true |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|07:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Da Beach | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
Alan Parsons Project is playing Humphrey's by the Bay on August 7th !! *double gasp* Yes, I'm a big prog rock dork and LOOOOOOOVE me some Alan Parson's Project, and I'm so going. Even though the tickets are $50. Humphrey's is an awesome outdoor venue and, HULLO... it's Alan freaking Parsons! Mr 'Grammy Winner for his work on Dark Side of the Moon' Parsons.
I'm 100% sure there is not 1 person I know in San Diego who would want to go with me, but that's ok because I'll make Rad and Dreamy go with me. That's kind of his job now, so, I can do that.
I saw today that Mudvayne is playing San Diego on Sept. 1st. This one I won't be able to go to, and i was highly dissapointed by this all day. Now I feel redeemed. I think I can manage to waddle my massive self into a lawn chair at 7:30 for Alan Parsons... waddling into the Sports Arena at midnight for loud angry metal I plain cannot do. Which sucks. A Lot. But I'll live.
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| HELP |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|03:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | wErk | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Get Dwon on It, Kool and the Gang | ] |
Ugh. Halp! I have to get a b-day present for a girlfriend of mine, and while I once possessed the skills required in this sort of thing, I have lost it. Sad to say, If there is no registry, I’m lost (but srsly, everything should have a registry! It eliminates all the actual work and ensures they get something they actually want. WIN WIN). This wouldn’t even be an issue, but for my b-day she gifted me a certificate for a facial, valued up to $70… which was both awesome and unexpected. So, here are the stats…
Turning 30
Just graduated with her Masters Degree in some kind of teaching field
Married for like 3 years or something (to an almost Olympian)
Brand new mom to baby boy born May 2nd (and the bitch is already back into a size 4 with a flat stomach. I hate her a little)
Owns her own condo (but it’s kinda teeny)
Religious (Christian) but since I’m not I’d rather not go this route. (so basically nothing crude with penises or anything)
Total girly girl
Clothes are not an option because besides her already overflowing closet her sister in law is a fashion designer at BCBG (and a former Loreal model. yeah. I know. I hate her a little too.)
*SIGH* Jeez. I always knew Brenda was awesome but sometimes it just takes a list to see how much more superior to me some people are. Not that I’m NOT awesome… because I am (duh)… in a non married, non master degreed, non athletic, non fashionista and non property owning kind of way. So… yeah.
Sweet Tapdancding Jesus I either hate myself or hate her right now, but anyway, back to the issue at hand… my budget for this is $40 - $50 dollars. Suggestions ? Please ?
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