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*snorts* [Aug. 22nd, 2011|08:26 pm]
[I'm Feeling |apatheticapathetic]


I needed that.
Link5 peanut butter & jelly samwiches|Tell Me

(no subject) [May. 27th, 2011|08:24 pm]

Things are good. All things considered, though, I feel the need to say that;

1, mostly I'm glad that my butthole still works as it's supposed to. I never really thought about it before, and therefore probably took it for granted. Now that I think about it, though.... I'm definitely the most happy that it hasn't malfunctioned. Just think about it for a second, and I think you would agree that it would suck more than just about anything else.

2. I'm second most happy that I've never killed anyone, accidental or otherwise. The stress of it might make #1 happen. Or prison.

either way. major suckage.

Happy Weekend, friends.

Link6 peanut butter & jelly samwiches|Tell Me

hmmm. [May. 6th, 2011|12:33 pm]
[I'm Feeling |nostalgicnostalgic]

I love the smell of sunscreen. I have only good memories attached to that smell. Particularly when I was a kid during the summer and would visit my mom in whichever casino town she happened to be living in. This was pre-Indian Casino's so strictly Nevada & Northern Arizona. She always lived in a place that had a pool, which as a kid growing up in the greater middle-class P.N.W., was quite exotic to me. I remember after my mom and step dad were very first married, they lived in a shit hole motel in Bullhead City, and Leonard spent practically every waking minute in that shit hole pool, teaching me how to dive. That was awesome. That's what sunscreen smells like.
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Dear Ron Howard [Apr. 21st, 2011|04:12 pm]
I've found Dark Tower's Susannah. Look no further. (and Javier Bardim as Roland? really?)

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boys vs girls... the best definition yet. [Apr. 15th, 2011|06:04 pm]
It's true. and I've got one of each.

LinkTell Me

The Nines [Apr. 8th, 2011|01:56 pm]
I watched this movie last night. I'm not gonna lie, my initial motivation was strictly about Ryan Reynolds. Ironically though, his extended brooding poses were possibly the most annoying thing about this movie. Hope Davis and Melissa McCarthy were spot on fantastic. I ended up getting REALLY excited thinking it was the next Memento, or Adaptation, or some unique hybrid of the two. I was on the edge of my seat, right until the very end.... where I kinda felt like I just got unwittingly sucked into a Ron L Hubbard book... where you think it's going to make sense until you realize it's really about Scientology. Not that the movie is about Scientology, I don't think.

I still give it 4/5 stars for being refreshingly different. I feel the potential could have been great, though. Charlie Kaufman would've nailed it, methinks.
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crap [Mar. 30th, 2011|08:58 pm]
You know when you're walking down a long sidewalk, next to budding bushes of some kind or another, and it's one of those Just So days out, where it's not too hot and not too cold, and you can literally smell the foliage next to you? And you can't help but smile? You know .... ?

And then you hear a sound that can only be described as someone shaking a plastic Easter egg containing sizable hunk of chocolate, or maybe a nickel, inside of it? And it enters your subconscious and you frown and think "WTF was that intrusion on my little piece of rainbow and unicorns?"  And then the answer comes buzzing right at your face in the form of, I don't even know what the fuck, ok, but it's black, with red eyes (yes, RED!), and a hard shell, and noticeably thick ass jointed black legs with spikes sticking out of it ? And you would swear... seriously SWEAR in a court of law... that it's disgusting hairy jointed legs were pointing at your eyeball in ninja fashion ? right? Causing you to - in one sort of spazzy movement - scream-jump-scream again-convulse-drop everything you're holding so you can karate chop this monster beast bug-while hopping around and flailing like you're having a fit of epilepsy...? You know?

And then you realize that the all-window building behind you is your place of employment, where one or several of your co-workers just witnessed this, um, EPISODE, and *probably* didn't see the miniature heathen bug sent from hell that, literally, just tried to kill you... thus, justifying your actions?

And then you realize that you still have, at least, 150 feet (of shame) to walk before you can retreat the the relative safety of your vehicle. and die a little?

*sighs* yeah. I hate it when that happens.
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These thoughts which whiten my hairs. [Mar. 25th, 2011|02:05 pm]
[I'm Feeling |contemplativecontemplative]

I put my kids between 15 and 20 by the time they have credible taste in music. IDK why. Probably because that’s when I pulled my head out of R&B’s asshole, and into some happy earholey places. For example, Zeppelin’s music had been around a few decades by the time I truly started appreciating them. By the time my kids are the same age I was then, Nirvana’s music will have been around for a few decades+. So in this twisted Pythagorean paradigm…. Nirvana = Led Zeppelin ? D: (well, lets hope for Alice in Chains. Somehow that makes it more palatable).

If it’s The Cure they’re into, it would be just like my high school obsession with The Beatles. There. That’s better. The Cure = The Beatles.

But, seriously, it’s hard for me to take it seriously. Can You Imagine… OMG, MOM, YOU’RE SOOOO LUCKY YOU WERE ALIVE WHEN NIRVANA WHEN WAS AROUND! DID YOU EVER SEE THEM LIVE? I WOULD’VE DIIIIIEEEEED! (or, you know, whatever the vernacular will be in better part of 2 decades from now).

How did our parents take us seriously, before we liked good music? It’s hard to imagine them NOT loving Pink Floyd and The Rolling Stones. Right? Maybe for them it was Perry Como and Patsy Cline? Nirvana = Perry Como?

God. Depressing.
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Way to go Colorado! [Mar. 21st, 2011|12:15 pm]
who knew? Collapse )


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(no subject) [Mar. 7th, 2011|12:04 pm]
[I'm Feeling |hornyrandy]

Anything with a boob balloon in it is made of WIN. if it has a bewb balloon AND Pink Floyd in it, then I pretty much want to have sex with it. thanks to just_jenn for the notcot.org time suck recommendation.

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either I shouldn't drink... or I should drink more [Feb. 17th, 2011|12:11 pm]
[I'm @ |Da Hood]
[I'm Feeling |nauseatednauseated]

Justin: G'Morning!

Me: *grunts*

Justin: and how are WE feeling this morning? *shit eating grin*

Me: do you WANT me to stab you?

Justin: So!

Me: *siiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhh*

Justin: Do you want to know what I'M going to think about all day?

Me: more than anything.

Justin: A snapshot of you, smoking on the back patio last night.
*pauses for effect*
Justin: Topless.
Justin: Completely Topless. and I think you were crying.
Justin: and the caption will read 'FOUR LOKO'
Justin: and under that '(make that two)''

Ah-Hem. Loko indeed *groans*
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(no subject) [Feb. 4th, 2011|04:02 pm]
I Wanna be a CowboyCollapse )
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yes. this is a post about Taylor Swift. what. [Jan. 22nd, 2011|07:18 pm]
[I'm Feeling |mischievousmischievous]

If I was a decent looking guy in Hollywood, New York or Nashville, between the ages of 21 and 35... right about now I'd be thinking about what it would take, exactly, to make it into a future Taylor Swift song.

This one time, I was dating this one guy, and just for the hell of it, I talked him into spending $700+ at Ikea, on the most god awful - fugliest shit EVER.... just to see if I could, & he would. Ok? Just saying.

Also... how do you go from Team Jacob to Donnie Darko? Really?!!? Is it Opposite Month? *shudders*

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(no subject) [Jan. 21st, 2011|10:41 am]

One of my Favorite songs set to one of my Favorite movies  \m/

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awkward [Jan. 19th, 2011|04:31 pm]
[I'm Feeling |embarrassedembarrassed]

so. this just happened. Collapse )
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Humor me an Andy Rooney moment or 5. [Jan. 19th, 2011|01:03 pm]
[I'm Feeling |annoyedannoyed]
[I'm Rocking |Leave Me Alone ~ New Order on Pandora]

The first time I saw Non-Handicapped Specialized parking, I was @ Babies R Us, and they had "Reserved For Expectant Mothers Only" parking spots. Not just one or two, either, but pretty much all the front spots in all the rows that Weren't already Handicapped spots. I figured it was just a novelty thing, since it was Babies R Us and all, but I remember thinking at the time that it was the most ingenious fucking thing I had ever seen (while not on hallucin0gen$, I should specify). I contribute this directly to the fact that I was, actually, knocked up. Almost immediately I wondered how in the hell they would enforce that, though. Pretty much all you have to be is  female of spawn producing age. If someone tried to call you on it, all you had to do was point to your who-haw, with your middle finger, and tell them to fuck the hell right off, without even opening your mouth. for once. Right?!?!!? ANYWAY... on principal alone, I will not use those spots now... unless I absolutely have no other recourse (that doesn't include walking 1/2 a mile to get to the damn store *points to who-haw* shut up)

Last week I stopped at the BevMo & Fresh and Easy (which is a grocery store, ok, and not whatever else it might sound like) and it was 5:30, so pretty busy. I see a non-handicapped spot open up right in the front, and scored that mother fucker post haste. As I pulled in, I see a sign that read (*SIIIIGGGHHHH*) "Reserved for Hybrid Vehicles Only". Say Whaaa? I seriously had to read that thing like 4 times to comprehend what I was seeing. I looked at the spots around me, and sho'nuff you guys... all the spots were Reserved for Hybrid, or something or other. ALLLLLLrighty Then. I turned off my NON hybrid V6 Ford Ranger (ok, it's my boyfriends. I would definitely not be driving that thing, on purpose, otherwise) and left it right there. I even dallied for a second, just WAITing for some fart sniffing jerk ass to say word one to me about it. No one did.

Um, here's an idea... what about "Reserved for Single Parents who have Multiple Small Children With Them" signs. Or "Reserved for Having a Shit Ass Day & I will Cut A Bitch" sign. How about something that's actually Useful to the general public, or nothing at all, you pretentious frog fuckers! What's next? Hybrid Lanes on the Freeway? God forbid you're a Hybrid Carpool... HOOOMG.... your farts probably smell DELICIOUS!*

*no offense to anyone who owns or drives a Hybrid, or carpools in a Hybrid, unless you are a pretentious frog fucker, of course. This rant was intended for the douche ass who decided to put this shit up in public parking lot, and suck my will to live for 5 minutes. I will never get those 5 minutes back. Pfsh. Also, I don't hate the environment, nor do I think that giving Hybrid drivers their own parking spots will do jack shit to save it.
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ve vant to suck your blood [Jan. 13th, 2011|10:46 am]
[I'm Feeling |quixoticquixotic]

So. I made a decision. If I absolutely HAD to pick... forced to... left nipple will get chewed off by a rabid ferret lest I choose...

dun Dun DUNCollapse )
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What IS the frequency, Kenneth? [Jan. 11th, 2011|08:28 pm]
[I'm @ |Inquiring Minds]

Did that shit ever get straightened out, or what?
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I don't know. [Jan. 4th, 2011|11:47 am]
If I was going to be celebrity spawn, I always thought it would be cool to be Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgewick's kid(s). Maybe like a handful of years ago when they were more teenagers than adults, anyway. (definitely before The Closer came out. Ugh. Kevin Bacon please don't watch that, because one look at your wife's puckered sneer of disapproval would shrivel your dick. I don't even have one of those floppy things, but I'm positive that would happen if'n I did). Anyway, if I was Bacon/Sedgewick spawn, I would undoubtedly have a band called 1 Degree of Separation.... and thus be the most hated teenage celebrity spawn among other teenage celebrity spawnee's.

But that's ok, because that's just how I would roll. Suck it asshole celebrity spawnees, who buck the trend by being uber trendy! I bucked that shit, then bucked it right back. Yeeeaaah. I rock the status quo up in this motherbucker.
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We'll make great pets. [Dec. 31st, 2010|02:33 pm]
[I'm @ |Classic Alternative on Music Choice]
[I'm Feeling |nostalgicnostalgic]

I heard somewhere, and don't quote me, ok, but I heard that Perry Farrell said something once about how talented artists & musicians should never keep making music after getting sober, because, and obviously, all the truly good shit would have been created under the influence. of something. or other. or a lot of things or another. Without specifically agreeing or disagreeing on principal, in his case, I would have to agree. The most inspired thing he's been involved with lately is Rock Star Wives, and that's just sad. I actually don't even hate that show, but I do hate that he's in it. And Duff too.

I never thought I would say it, but I miss 1993. Probably I mostly miss being 18 (perky b-cups, what?), but I also miss Porno for Pyro's, Jane's Addiction, (good) Alice in Chains... and so much more

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Turn and Face the Strange [Dec. 29th, 2010|01:37 pm]
[I'm @ |wErk]
[I'm Feeling |pensivepensive]
[I'm Rocking |Abysmal ~ The Haunted]

I wish I would've just created a baby filter, rather than a whole new LJ account for it. Like I need any more reminder that life is forever changed than a half defunct beloved journal, paid journal, MY journal, that I used to like to visit and post to and comment on friends posts, and shit. That I have something like 117 unused / free icon space to fill up. and shit.

Coming into work yesterday I felt like I had just woken up from a coma. I don't even know what the fuck because I've been back to working from work, part time, since September. But for some reason it felt like it could've been a morning commute from, like-say, 2008... or some other time from a million years ago. I really do wish I could go back... just for a week... just for myself. One half of that week I would dedicate to doing jack shit. seriously... nothing. lying on my ass. breathing. eating. peeing. but basically.. nothing.  Definitely NOT washing bottles, ok, or anything remotely related to it.  

The other half of the week I would dedicate to all the things I haven't been able to do in 2 years;

Bars -  in the middle of the day.... JUST BECAUSE.
Restaurants - nice ones - the kind that Would, in fact, mind a floor full of cheerios to clean up after you leave
Movies - I'd spend a whole day/night movie hopping. Maybe two days/nights. all 3D. Why Not.
Drives - GOD I miss going on drives. in my truck. that I no longer have because it couldn't fit two car seats. I miss my fucking truck. alot.
Concerts - even local shows in sticky bars... whatever. Loud. Throbbing. Angry. Horns waving worthy music, preferably by people who have no blessed idea how annoying Dora the Explorer is.
Beauty Salon - there was a time, not even that long ago, where I would not let my piggies be spied without shiny paint on them. period. since I pretty ,much live in flip flops, that means they were ALWAYS presentable. I will never have the patience or fortitude to do them myself. I don't even know if I just used the word fortitude correctly right there, ok, but Also, it would be lovely to have hair that is just one color, with some kind of style to it, other than floppy and straw like. I don't need a facial. Or a massage. Or an eyebrow wax (well, maybe that) Just a fricken hair cut and a pedi.
Shopping - Ok, I've never actually been into shopping for myself, but damn. Mama needs some new clothes. and underwear. and shoes. and make up. and hair products that cost more than $4 per bottle, hence the straw-hair.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't give up what I have, for anything.... but I would love to try and find a way to infuse a little more of ME back into my own life, before it gets permanently sucked up and spit back out into Candyland. Obviously I'm not trying to get back to some lonely, partying, irresponible, self destructive place, but some middle ground (i.e., life) would be nice.

If I have any kind of resolution for 2011, this would be at the top of the list. Right next to finding an affordable daycare, or at least a dependable babysitter. 

In any case, happy holidays & new year to those who have yet to delete me. Thanks for not doing that, BTW. Hopefully there will be more Megs to put into this journal in the near future, but probably it will be some Megs, some Babies, a little boyfriend sprinkled in for flavor, and a pinch of work ( well, hopefully a little more than that... this is a recession still). and no worries because whatever is posted here will not be annoyingly first person, like this whole paragraph is. I don't even know where that came from, actually.
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About that mythical concert... or maybe not mythical? [Oct. 7th, 2010|03:14 pm]
[I'm Feeling |mischievousmischievous]

I saw get Him to the Greek the other day, and this line didn't fully register in my head until earlier when my Zune was on shuffle and Vamos came on;

"Or we could go see The Pixies and The Mars Volta at *wherever it was*"

*blinks* The Pixies and The Mars Volta? HOLY SHITSTICKS, BATMAN! Was that an actual tour? Please tell me it wasn't, because if I missed that epicness, along with all the other epically awesome concerts from the past two years... something unreasonablly drastic might happen to me; Epic Regret.

YANNO... I get the whole "sacrifice for your kids" shtick, but in the past two months alone I've missed The Pixies, The Autralian Pink Floyd Cover Band and... AND... Porcupine Tree. PORCUPINE TREE, YOU GUYS!!! In San Diego, for fuck sakes!

I forsee many embarassing "OMG MOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!" moments in the coming years. Oh Hell Yes, sweet revenge is sweet.

In other news, what would be your ideal two band totally epic awesome concert? (mine would not be The Pixies and the Mars Volta, but I would definitely need to think about what it Would be)
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(no subject) [Oct. 6th, 2010|09:26 pm]
[I'm @ |Da Hood]
[I'm Feeling |irritatedirritated]
[I'm Rocking |Duh.]

now you're under controlCollapse )
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Words Words the magical fruit [Jul. 8th, 2010|07:31 pm]
[I'm @ |Da Hood]
[I'm Feeling |distresseddistressed]
[I'm Rocking |Dora trhe Explorer can kiss my ass]

Ok, friends. I need some help. I'm book shopping on Amazon. Since my alien vampires were born, all I've read are "What to Expect" crap, and equally SUCK MY WILL TO LIVE story books. For them. Needlesstosay, I'm feeling more than a little devoid of substance and wit and lovely quips about...anything non-baby related. seriously.

My tastes are generally as follows:

Hunter. S. Thompson (read; Rum Diary and The Great Shark Hunt)
Ken Kesey (read it all)
Chuck Palahnuik
Doug Adams
Stephen King (but lets face it, that well is dry)
Augesten Burroughs
David Sedaris
David Foster Wallace

and probably 1.9 dozen I'm forgetting... but this covers the general faveys which come to mind 

Suggestions? Please...
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(no subject) [Apr. 16th, 2010|10:05 am]
[I'm @ |da Beach]
[I'm Feeling |contemplativecontemplative]

Tickling My Monkey takes on a WHOLE new meaning these days. Truly.

Also, my new obsession of the now is hot sauce. Taco Shop hot sauce, specifically. Not the vinegar based stuff. This is only remotely interesting because I don't really like spicy stuff. I'm a total wuss about it, truth be told. Now I slather everything in that chili flake deliciousness.

Well. a lot of things, anyway.
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yet another cooking debaucle [Mar. 9th, 2010|12:51 am]
[I'm @ |da Beach]
[I'm Feeling |nauseatednauseated]

In which I get an A for Effort,,, and Acid RefluxCollapse )

In other news I DVR'd Hard Candy. Has anyone seen it? I heard it gets kind of crazy. Therefore, I think it would be a bad idea to watch it by myself when my family is all snoozing in the next room. With furniture all kinds of shaking lately. Recipe for insomnia, fer sure. As it is I keep thinking it's Friday, when it's actually the opposite of Friday  :o-!  
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(no subject) [Mar. 5th, 2010|03:20 am]
[I'm @ |da beach]
[I'm Feeling |indescribableindescribable]
[I'm Rocking |Substitute ~ The Who]

So.... it's always fun to wake up at 2:30am from a dead sleep with your boyfriend standing at the end/edge of the bed, shaking it... only to discover that your boyfriend is also in a dead sleep to the left of you. snoring. No one is standing at the edge of the bed, but your daughter is laying completely still in the crib, wide eyed... hungry... and staring at you. at 2:30 in the morning, for once not fussing. just laying there. Eyes wide open. That's not weird at all (/SARCASM), to see your daughter laying there just staring at you... with Those Eyes. at 2:30 in the morning. after the bed just mysteriously shook you awake and no one is there.

I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened... but there are at least two other times I woke up on the couch, from an "earthquake", where the couch was shaking.

Right. Now it's 3. am. and I'm chugging a Budweiser and (understandably?) completely awake. There is a documentary on The Who on Sundance. I forsee this as this encomassing my immediate future for the next couple of hours. It doesn't involve the dark as black ass bedroom, or my completely sleeping boyfriend... or my son or daughter who have both been fed now and WHATEVER with all that.  

I've read way too much Stephen King for this shit.
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Your word of today is.... [Feb. 27th, 2010|11:57 am]
[I'm Feeling |amusedamused]

Justin has come up with a new word; Punanaise. How pleased is he with himself right now? *shakes head* He's found 50 different occasions to use it in the past 1/2 hour.

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Oh Taxes [Feb. 26th, 2010|09:02 pm]
[I'm @ |da beach]
[I'm Feeling |happyhappy]
[I'm Rocking |Lateralus ~ Tool]

Really? OH YES. Thank You. YAAYYYY.

In case you were wondering how to optimize your return... be single and have twins. It's better than the return I knew when I owned property. that wasn't two babies. also, they love you.

they really <3 <3 <3 < <3 youCollapse )
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Oh, yeah. [Feb. 4th, 2010|01:20 am]
In other news, I have officially concluded that Journey's Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin is the most perfectly constructed song of all time. and no, in fact, I'm not drunk. This is just my opinion. For those who scoff, I can only suggest you go back and listen to it with a fresh pair of ears. If the marriage of the piano and guitar and drums and vocals doesn't persuade you, I would be happy to hear which song falls into your most perfect category. In fact, lets hear it.
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